Monday, 27 September 2010

In which I tell knits to get knotted

Look, can we stop this crappy calling a jumper a "knit" thing sometime soon? Autumn's definitely arrived (and guess who's got himself stocked up with only summer suits, oh well done that man) so I've been looking in shops and online for warmer stuff. And suddenly anything that's a jumper or cardigan is called a "knit".

I mean, come on, it's not even consistent. Wool gloves aren't knits, beanie hats are accessories rather than knits and so are scarves. Never midn the fact that they're knitted too.

I take it this is one of those bloke things - women's jumpers are also called knits but it'll have started in a marketing department aiming at men. Probably the same one that decided we'd never buy moisturiser unless they called it "face protector" (as the comedian Sean Locke said so memorably, moisturiser is in case your skin gets a bit dry, face protector is in case someone shoots at it because you're a MAN).

"Knits" has the same air of Gordon Ramsay doing one of his unintentionally hilarious monosyllabic cooking demonstrations ("Eggs...fork....heat...scramble...done" - which, with the addition of a few effing eff words, would be how you'd caricature the bloke if you tried).

So here's the deal. "Knitwear" I'll accept because it's got to cover more than just jumpers. But if anyone - anyone - styles their warmer clothing as "knits" I'm going to assume it's aimed at someone at least 20 years younger who doesn't want to be seen buying jumpers like their dad did (unless they're trying to be "ironic", of course) and I just won't buy it.



  1. As we're going down this route, I was sickened to learn the term "stemware" recently. If you have never heard it, check google. I refuse to sully those who don't want to feel the nausea of knowing.

  2. Fortunately nothing to do with stem cells, but yes, a wholly gratuitous and unnecessary word.

  3. ...and someone on Twitter has just told me they find the individual "trouser" as annoying as "knits" - so do I!


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